March Blogness // The Truth About Her Square Life

My name is Jessica and you might remember me from one the Jenn's earlier posts. I shared with you a little bit about my life as an etsy shop owner. Today, I am thrilled to take part in Jenn's wonderfully transparent The Truth About My Square Life series.

If I'm being honest, I am not very interested in Instagram/Twitter/Facebook. This has not always been true. This time last year I was a full on social media addict. I would wake up and scroll through Instagram, sit on Twitter in class, etc. I remember telling Jenn that I should give up social media for lent, but that I didn't want to...I was being a brat.

I was being lazy with my free time. I don't think social media is a bad thing; I think it can serve a wonderful purpose. But I was using it as a way to fill the empty spaces in my life. I finally got to a point where I wanted a radical change - I deleted all my social media apps.  I replaced the time that I had spent mindlessly scrolling through social media feeds with sermons.  I would listen to sermons on my Sermon Audio app instead. It made a huge difference in my personal growth as a Christian.

I've since been able to re-download all my social media apps and am back on social media, but no longer feel addicted to it.  I use it to keep up with the people I care about, read posts that inspire me, and share the authentic version of myself.

For me, Instagram was once a mindless waste of my time; hours that I could have spent learning and growing as a person were spent searching my newsfeed for beautiful photos.  The comparison game was stealing some of my joy, but the real issue, in my life, was the total waste of time. 

Several months ago I posted this to Instagram:

What it looks like is going on: Waking up to a snowy morning with my coffee! Loving life. Being cozy.

The truth about my square life: It took me like what felt like 234,324 tries to get the just right picture.  By the time I snapped the picture that I felt worked best, I realized how cliché the picture actually was, and I wished I had spent those moments just enjoying the early morning snow.

I've missed so many special moments because I was busy trying to take a trendy picture.  Pictures are great. Trendy, beautiful pictures are great. And Instragram really is great.  But, I still need to work on appreciating the moments that are given to me by God and not trying to filter them into something that I think will get a lot of likes.

March Blogness // You Are Enough

Today, I am so excited to introduce you to my person (seriously, we've been watching Grey's Anatomy together since season two - we have a standing Thursday night text date), Amanda.

Amanda is a newlywed, a doggy-mom to Penny and Rocky, a total #GIRLBOSS in the Air Force, and a total inspiration to me. Amanda embodies shine theory, laughs with her whole body, and sets big goals for herself, but shows herself so much grace when that's what she needs. And, she's a seriously talented writer. Today, she's here to remind us that just because we can have it all, doesn't mean we have to have it all.

“We are a generation of young women who were told we could do anything and instead heard that we had to be everything.”
-Courtney E. Martin, Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters

Being a twenty-something is hard, and being a twenty-something woman in 2015 feels even harder some days.

Our mothers and grandmothers and great grandmothers fought to level the playing field. We can do anything and be anyone! But when did that mean we have to do everything and be everything for everyone?

We’ve been encouraged to go through every door that has been opened, seize every opportunity we’ve been given. Be leaders. Go forth and conquer. You are the future leaders of America!

But wait, as you’re rising to your full potential and becoming a role model for young women everywhere… all the while you can still be a mom, pursue your Master’s degree, maintain that bikini bod through daily yoga, cloth diaper your homemade-pureed-peas-fed baby, sew your man a t-shirt quilt before baking him a four-course dinner you saw on Pinterest, serve it up on a table you made from reclaimed pallets, and simultaneously kick up your trendy-boot-clad heels after work because your laundry is folded and the house is spotless.

Confession: my life looks nothing like this Supergirl standard. More like: Hi, I’m Amanda, and I’m a stressed, 24-year-old woman currently working full time in the military who feels like I’m not doing enough or accomplishing enough in my life.

I’ve certainly struggled with the pressure to meet the standard of the “effortlessly perfect” woman. But here’s the thing – it’s unreasonable, destructive, and impossible to expect this from ourselves and each other. 

My life is surrounded by competitive, vivacious, accomplished, clever, impressive, educated, gracious, beautiful women. Yet, we often get so caught up in playing a comparison game with each other that we fail to see these great qualities in ourselves. We’re stressing ourselves and each other out. And ladies, this stress is exhausting.  

Jenn’s blog has already done such a beautiful job of capturing the comparison game in her series The Truth About My Square Life. It’s a perfect lens for breaking down some of the “Instagram-worthy” moments on which we’re basing our Supergirl standard.

We need to take those square moments with a grain of salt when we reflect on our own life and accomplishments. We need to build each other up when confiding in one another, rather than re-enforcing the self-doubt that we’re not “where we need to be.” We need to remember that we do not have to be everything for everyone.

I charge you today to give yourself a break. Keep in mind that so much of what we see in each other’s life is that Pinterest-worthy highlight reel.

There is something to be said about the opening quote: you CAN do anything! I don’t know you, but I know you have all the strength and capability to achieve any goal you set for yourself. But please rest assured, we are all bumbling around trying to figure it out. Your journey is yours alone. If you try to be “enough” all the time, whether self-inflicted or based on the journey of those around you, you will never feel it. But trust me, you already are enough.

Jenn Loves Books: 2015 Reading Wish List

20 Something, 20 Everything // Don't Worry, It Gets Worse // X vs. Y // Adulting // #Girlboss

The Fringe Hours // Women of the Word // The Best Yes // Love Does  // Restless

City Girl, Country Vet // The Girl On The Train // Now I See You // Little Known Facts // Where'd You Go Bernadette

To Kill A Mockingbird // Slaughterhouse-Five // Pride & Prejudice // The Cather in the Rye // Twelfth Night 

Lead Small // The Story // Make It Happen // Freefall to Fly // Chasing God 

Ghettoside // The Boys In The Boat // The Romanov Sisters // Wild // A Royal Experiment

The Opposite of Loneliness // The Smart One // Girls in White Dresses // Deathly Hallows // Play It As It Lays

If I Stay // Insurgent // Looking For Alaska // Mockingjay // The Spectacular Now

I'll Drink To That // Double Down // Flash Boys // In Defense of Food // Yes Please

 

What books are on your 2015 reading wish list? Does your list include some rereads, like mine, or are you strictly trying to read new books?

March Blogness // The Truth About Her Square Life

This morning I am so excited for you to meet my friend, Helen. Helen is not only one of my favorite people, and a fellow blogger, but she's also my little sister from our sorority. Helen always has a story to share to make you laugh, including the time she tried to take her cat, Mimo, on a walk. Spoiler alert: Mimo wanted nothing to do with that. Or that time, she got in a fight with a sea urchin. Helen's life is full of adventures, and a couple misadventures. She is beautiful, and kind, and can always sense when someone needs to hear about one of those misadventures.

And today, Helen is here to tell you the truth about her square life - because it's not just my square life that is full of half-truths and best-foot-forwardness.

 

 

Hi there! My name is Helen and I blog over at Hel On Heels. When Jenn asked me to write a post in her series The Truth About My Square Life, my response was, “Of course, but my life is perfect.”

I was, of course, kidding! My life is not perfect and I actually had the perfect square picture to prove it.

A few weeks ago, I posted this picture:

 

 

Too Sexy for our helmets.

What it looks like is going on: My boyfriend and I are super adorable and adventurous and go on dangerous go karting adventures in our spare time.  

The truth about my square life: This was one of the worst experiences of my life. I had a broken tailbone and was heavily medicated. I bought passes for the fastest go karts in Georgia for my boyfriend’s birthday before I broke my tailbone and didn’t want to cancel. So I went. It was SO painful. Then to top it off, the guy in charge was super mean to me because the woman at the desk didn’t give me a receipt and someone else was in the kart I was assigned. My tailbone hurt so bad, I was practically driving Miss Daisy and hugging the wall. It was miserable.

Be sure to stop by Helen's blog and give her some love! And if you're here from Helen's blog, welcome to my corner of the internet, I so hope we can be friends!

Welcome To March Blogness!

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Welcome to March Blogness friends! Over the next three weeks, while I'm in the height of tax season, many of my friends, and fellow bloggers, are going to be showing up here to share with you while I'm hustling to finish this tax season in victory.

I'm so excited for you to get to meet so many of my dear friends over the next three weeks, and I'll still be popping in from time to time to share a post or two.  These friends of mine are all incredible writers and incredible women, and I think you're going to love each and every one of them.

Some women are opening up about the truth about their square lives, some are sharing the honest struggles of being a twenty-something, some are going to talk about books they love. All of them are going to encourage you, and I hope you will love on them well.

Spotlight On: Cadi Griffin

This morning, I am so excited to introduce y'all to one of my dearest friends, former roomie, Cadi. Cadi is so kind and funny and organized.  She challenges the people around her to rise to their full potential. She also works as a middle school counselor and is so passionate about her job and her students. In addition to being an incredible friend, and awesome school counselor, Cadi also makes super cute, and very well priced, wire-wrapped bracelets! Be sure to read all the way to the bottom of this interview to be entered in a giveaway to win one of Cadi's awesome bracelets!  

What prompted you to open your etsy shop?

I truly never intended to open an Etsy shop. I started making bracelets after seeing some from a popular bracelet maker and thinking how outrageous their prices were. After I started making my own, I had friends that would ask about them and want me to make them one. It was actually a friend that suggested I should put some on Etsy!

How do you stay organized?

I live by my yearly Vera Bradley planner! If I don't write something down, chances are it will be much later when whatever someone wanted me to do pops up in my mind. I'm also a big fan of sticky notes!

 

What's the one product you can't live without?

This is a hard one! Most of my friends know that I am a huge Ulta junkie! but a girl can never have too many nail polish or lipstick options!


What's your favorite part about designing and making bracelets? The hardest part?

My favorite part is seeing the finished product and people loving it! The hardest part is choosing the beads or stones. Since I order most of my beads and stones from other sellers on Etsy, instead of purchasing them in person, it can sometimes be difficult to imagine what the end product will look like.

How do you unwind at night?

Before bed I usually watch a little bit of TV and read the daily She Reads Truth devotional.


What's one thing you want to accomplish in the next three years?

Within the next three years I would like to go back to school and work on my specialist degree.

What does your typical day look like?

A typical day starts with me, very slowly, getting up and getting ready for work. My workday is never typical! I work as a middle school counselor for 700 students, so no day is ever the same as the last! But I love the variety; I couldn't imagine doing the exact same thing everyday for 30 years. After work, when I get home, I love scrolling through social media (a terrible habit), sometimes I'll work out, or my roomie and I will go out to eat. After that, because I'm not a morning person, I read my daily devotional!

What would you tell 15-year-old Cadi?

I would tell my 15-year-old self the same thing I frequently tell my kiddos, to just be true to yourself, no matter what others think, and do what makes you happy! Because ultimately your happiness is all that is going to matter!

What is on Bible verse/passage you cling to?

It's hard to pick just one, but as my phone background I keep Psalm 91:4, "He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge." I love this verse because no matter how bad things are going or how unworthy we fell, it's a reminder that Jesus is always there for us, waiting to embrace us.

To enter for a chance to win one of Cadi's super cute bracelets, all you need to do is head over to Cadi's shop, look at her bracelets, and then leave a comment letting me know which one if your favorite?

My favorite of Cadi's creations are these cross wire-wrapped bracelets!

Good luck!

2015 Goals // Part Three // Fired Up. Saying Yes. Saying No.

After figuring out whatdid and didn't work for me in 2014, I started thinking about the things I'm most passionate about. The things that make my heart beat fast. The things that fire me up and make me feel alive. I truly believe the things that fire you up do so for a reason; those passions were built into your soul by God. And I long to live my life in a way that enables me to be purposeful about pursuing and participating in the things that truly fire me up. The list below of things that fire me is not exhaustive, nor is it in any particular order. 

• Loving on high schoolers
• Seeing people come to know Jesus
• Writing/reading/words
• Organization/organizing/cleaning
• The Bible
• Long talks with friends
• Slow weekends
• Praise music
• Grace
• Surprises for people I love
• Dance parties
• Witnessing God build communities 
• Time with my family
• Learning
• Dreaming about my future with Tyler
• Being in the mountains
• To do lists/planners
• Authentic conversations
• Laughter
• Making memories
• Travel
• Cooking
• Encouraging others 

Now that I have a more clear idea of the things that fire me up, as well as the things that did and didn't work last year, it is much easier to see the things in my life that I need to be saying "no" to and the things in my life I long to say "yes" to. 

• Comparison
• Accumulating more and more stuff 
• Making my life about my job 
• Reading the Bible as if it's a story about me 
• Not feeling like I am enough - smart enough, good enough, pretty enough
• Judging myself
• Snooze button
• Perfectionism
• Stifling my own dreams
• Netflix/social media all night long
• Phone after 10 pm
• Feeling like I have to say "yes"

• Boundaries
• Less stuff 
• Trusting God
• Knowing the Bible for myself 
• Phoneless date nights / phoneless time with friends
• Morning prayer time 
• Taking Luna on walks
• Finishing my novel 
• Time with the high schoolers
• Grace up grace
• Forgiveness (for myself and others)
• Working out/eating well
• Writing for fun
• Seeking God above all else
• Getting my financial house in order for good
• Dreaming big dreams over my life 
• Daily gratitude
• Margin
• Joy
• Reading 
• Believing that I can't, but God can

Jenn Loves Books: Gone Girl

I'm almost always the last person to read a book that everyone seems to be reading. The Divergent series, The Fault In Our Stars, The Help. The list could go on and on. Part of me just worries that maybe the book isn't as good as everyone seems to think it is. So, when everyone (and I do mean EVERYONE) was reading Gone Girl, I just didn't jump on the bandwagon.

I finally sat down and decided to read the book after one of my friends gave me such a hard time about having not read it yet. She insisted I would get sucked right in and read it in no time. She was right.

Gone Girl pulls you in immediately with the disappearance of Nick's wife Amy. Nick comes off as aloof and suspicious, and honestly, a liar. The book is smart and keeps you guessing. Just when I thought I knew for sure what had happened, something else would be discovered and my whole theory would change. I literally would text my friend in all caps "NICK IS SUCH A HUGE LIAR AND I HATE HIM." And then have to recant all those feelings two pages later.

I've heard that Flynn's other two books, Sharp Objects and Dark Places, are even darker than Gone Girl. I also have heard that they're not as widely read as Gone Girl. If you've read either of her other works and enjoyed it, let me know.

Have you read Gone Girl? Did the book keep you guessing until the final pages? Did you like it?

Friends Friday

In my little corner of the internet, I want us all to be friends. So let's take this chance to get to know each other a little bit better.

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What is your favorite cold weather accessory: I have recently discovered my love for knit hats. I have one with an extra-large pom on it, and I cannot stop wearing it.

Highlight of your week: We had Waffle House catered to work last night for dinner. They were cooking waffles and hash browns in our office. It was wonderful. It's the little things during tax season you guys.

I would pack a bag and leave for: Barcelona. In a second.

Oscar nominated movie you're dying to see before Sunday: Foxcatcher - It's supposed to be a career altering performance for both Steve Carell and Channing Tatum

Weekend cocktail of choice: Gin with grapefruit juice and a fresh basil leaf. Smile, there is gin.

Now you're turn! Copy the questions below into the comments and tell me about yourself! I can't wait to get to know each of you guys better.

What is your favorite cold weather accessory:

Highlight of your week:

I would pack a bag and leave for ______:

Oscar nominated movie you're dying to see before Sunday:

Weekend cocktail of choice:

The Truth About My Square Life: I Have Time To Read

The Truth About My Square Life is a series attempting to stop pretending the highlight reels of our lives on Instagram are the whole picture. If you're anything like me, I bet you find yourself comparing your real life to other peoples' square lives, their highlight reels, as if it's the whole picture of their lives. And this comparison game is exhausting, and it's stealing our joy.

So let's stop that.

A couple weeks ago I curled up in bed to read after having an impossibly long and exhausting day, and I posted this picture:

I don't know about you, but this Tuesday has just worn me out. So I'm giving myself the night off to curl up with a good book.

What it looks like is going on: I have all the time in the world for leisure activities like reading.  I don't waste my time with mindless activities like binge watching Friends on Netflix.  Oh you do? You know you're killing your brain. Also, I only wear pajamas that match my bedding, because I am just that fancy. I wouldn't be caught dead in sweatpants and a t-shirt. And, of course my glasses are just as fashionable as my nighttime attire.

The truth about my square life: I had had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I got home to be reminded that I hadn't gone to the grocery store, I hadn't done laundry, and I hadn't cleaned my apartment in about a week. I made a half-hearted attempt to do some of those things, gave up, ordered a pizza, and crawled into bed with the whole pizza and Gone Girl. I ate the pizza out of the box in my bed, read for half an hour. Then decided that I was too tired to read, and turned on Netflix. Oh, and I ate the whole pizza...

2015 Goals // Part Two // Victories & Challenges

2014 was an incredible year for me. It was a year filled with friends weddings, and dance parties, and moving into my own apartment. But 2014 was also really hard. It was the year I survived my first tax season, the year I didn't finish the CPA exam, the year that I found myself wondering "why does God seem so distant?"

For me, listing out my victories and challenges was difficult. I really struggled to not just sit around and beat myself up over all the things I should have done better (hello perfectionist). But, that's not the point of making these two lists. The point is the end result, the list of lessons learned over the last year. And while 2014 held many ups and downs for me, it really was a life-shaping year. I feel like 2014, at it's core, was the year I finally sat down and said this is the woman I want to be, these are the things I want others to say about me. 

• Prayer 
• Dance parties - all the time. 
• Saying yes to spending time with the people who matter most to me
• Finding a church home and building my community there 
• Celebrating a whole year as a "big girl" with a job I love
• Volunteering with high schoolers 
• Celebrating big moments in big ways
• Planning outfits for the week on Sundays so that there is less stress throughout the week
• Adopting a greyhound
• Launching this blog
• Listening to worship music more throughout the day
• Setting phone dates with friends 
• Being grateful

• Over-committing; being afraid to say "no" because I might miss out on the fun
• Making a budget and then ignoring it
• Making my God small
• Believing the lie that Instagram is real life
• Comparison
• Not taking time to do things I love
• Feeling attached to my phone
• Ignoring my body telling me to slow down; ignoring the fact that I was sick
• Pushing myself too hard; being too hard on myself; having unreal expectations for where my life "should" be
• Binge watching netflix when I should be sleeping; social media/pinterest when I should be sleeping; keeping my phone within arms reach when I should be sleeping 
• Drinking more diet coke and less water 
• Putting off going to the grocery store/doing laundry/cleaning the apartment 
• Accumulating more stuff

• Prayer is powerful.
• God is never as far away as I feel like He is. 
• I love my job, and it's a great job, but it is not (and should not become) my whole life.
• It is so important to take care of myself, physically and mentally - I've got to fill my cup up. I cannot pour into others if my own cup is empty! 
• Words are powerful and impactful and make my heart flutter. 
• PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE - STOP LOOKING AT THE COMPUTER - TURN OFF THE TV
• Comparison and perfectionism are stealing my joy. 
• Grace, unmerited and unearned favor, changes everything. 

2015 Goals // Part One // So...It's Not January 1st

We're a month and a  half into this year. The year that once stood before us like newly fallen snow. Perfect. Untouched.

We've jumped in with both feet. Parts of this new year and still white and beautiful. But so much of my new year already looks like that left over snow on the side of the street after lots and lots of cars have driven through it. Nasty.

But it's never too late to sit down and stare at that newly fallen snow and declare goals and plans and dreams over your life.

So, it's not January 1st. So what? I have a vision and dreams and ambitions and goals for my life. And I don't want to spend another moment not working towards the life I actually want to live. And, for me, without tangible goals and action steps and great people to hold me accountable, I will end up spending too much of my life on things that just don't matter. I get sidetracked by things that seem important and lose sight of the big picture, of my big purpose.

Luckily, there is nothing special about January 1st. It is never too late to decide that you want to live your life on purpose.

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While I missed out on the latest order of the Lara Casey PowerSheets (which I will be ordering as soon as they become available agin), I am centering my goal planning process around the process used in the PowerSheets, which Lara outlined on her blog at the beginning of the year.

Over the next two weeks I'll walk through what worked and what didn't in 2014, the lessons I learned from the things that did and didn't work, what fires me up, what I'm saying yes to and what I'm saying no to, and finally, proclaiming my goals and the action steps to reach those goals for this coming year.

If you want to join me in setting realistic and realizable goals for your life,

If you long to live on purpose, if you're tired of striving for perfect, and never quite measuring up, if you long for realistic and realizable goals for your life, join me. Let's make big things happen in our lives this year. Let's live our lives on purpose for The Purpose.

#LoveYourCurls

In light of Dove's new ad campaign to #LoveYourCurls, I thought I would get real with you guys about having curly hair. Just incase you've missed it, or you're like me and can't seem to go more than a few days without watching it:

Our curls are perfect this way.

I so related to the little girls in the video who longed to make their hair straight and have it look like everyone else's hair; little-girl-Jenn felt the same way. Honestly, it wasn't until I was in college that I really fell in love with my big curly hair. Now, I love it. While I do straighten my hair from time to time, I definitely prefer to just let my hair do what it does best - get big and curly.

One perk of having curly hair is that it can be super low maintenance. With the right products I can make my curls last two or three days.  I also try to avoid shampooing my hair as much as possible since shampoo is actually very drying, and that's the last thing my already dry curls need. Don't worry, I do condition my hair any time it gets wet, but I probably only shampoo my hair three or four times a month, which means showers take less time.  And a big bottle of shampoo lasts a long time.

These are the products I swear by to get my curls to last as long as possible.

1. Redken Curvaceous Ringlet Perfecting Lotion - This curl lotion gives my freshly washed curls just the right amount of control without weighing my hair down. The product does it's job all day, and even in the middle of July in Georgia, I have little to no frizz.

2. Wide Tooth Comb - Friends are always confused when they come over and need to borrow and brush and I have to tell them I don't have one. The bristles on a brush are far too close together to use on curly hair. The only time I run anything through my hair is when it's wet. I use the comb to get my hair parted and detangled, then I put my products in and stop touching my hair!

3. Dove Refresh + Care Invigorating Dry Shampoo - I've tried several dry shampoos, and Dove's by far does the best job. It smells great, absorbs oils, and doesn't leave a yucky feeling residue on my scalp all day.

4. Bumble + Bumble Curl Conscious Reactivating Mist - Truth, this product has a kind of strange smell when you first spray it on your hair. But it goes away, I promise. I sampled the mist at the mall, and kept making my friend smell my hair to tell me if the strange scent had gone away. It definitely did, and the reactivating mist definitely reactivates your curls. For day two or day three curls, this is my go to. I mist my hair, then start scrunching my curls back to life, and laying down some of the frizz from my pillow.

How do you take care of your hair? What products do you swear by? 

Do you find yourself wishing your hair was different than the way it is?

Flourish: Month One

 

I mentioned earlier this week that I have a mentor through church. She is incredible, and wise, and so clearly hand picked by God to be part of my life. The mentorship program I am participating in is called Flourish: Rooted To Believe.  For January and February our focus is on God's story. We're reading The Story, which is the Bible written into more of a novel. So far it's been great, and is helping me continue to work towards my goal of reading through the Bible in a year!

We've also been reading through Psalm 119 (which is the longest of all the Psalms). Over the last month we have really dug into the first half of Psalm 119, and I cannot get over how much goodness I'm getting out of it. I've never really had guidance on how to just dig into scripture, and spend a whole week meditating on a set of verses, and this time has been radically changing how I approach scripture.  Each time I come back to the week's verses, I feel like I see something new, or understand something a little better.

The best part is, on Friday's all the women participating in the Flourish program instagram a verse, or summary, from the week with the hashtag #Flourish2015. I feel like each week almost the whole passage is represented; it's really interesting to see how God's word speaks to each of us on such an individual basis.

Over the last month, these are the verses that have most struck me:

"I have hidden Your word in my heart; do not let me stray from Your commands." - Psalm 119:10 

What a great opening passage for the year. This passage has become one that I keep going back to; it's such a great reminder that we are not just supposed to read scripture, but know it. Know it so well that it becomes a part of us, buried in our hearts. When I'm tired, and find myself just going through the motions of reading the Bible, this is the verse I come back to to center myself.

"I am a stranger on earth, do not hide Your commands from me." - Psalm 119:19

I love this verse; I love the truth it speaks, that earth is my temporary home. The reminder that Heaven is my true and forever home. Heaven is the place where I am not a stranger. That Heaven is better because I am not a stranger there. This verse challenges me to stop focusing so much on the things of this world, and to fix my eyes on my God who knows me wholly. What a great reminder that I have never been, and will never be, a stranger to my God.

"I will walk around in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts." - Psalm 119:45

God does not want us to be enslaved to anything; with Him there is freedom. His commands do not chain us down. Instead, they set us free. So why do I keep making myself a slave to things that don't matter when my God has already set me free?

"Your word, Lord, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens. Your faithfulness continues through all generations; You established the earth and it endures." - Psalm 119: 89-90

God's word and works will stand the test of time. He, and by extension, His word are sturdy. He is trustworthy. He will always be faithful. To the very end.

#CubeLife: Being The Best Mentee

I believe having a mentor is so important. It's great to have a woman in your life who has walked your path before you, and is able to give advice and wisdom as you make decisions about your life. I am lucky enough to have two mentors: a professional mentor at work, and a spiritual/life mentor through church.

Did you know that in a mentor/mentee relationship, most of the responsibility actually falls on the mentee? The more effort you, as the mentee, put into the relationship, the more you'll be able to glean from your mentor. There are three questions I always like to have answered before I meet with either of my mentors:

What am I currently working on? - At work, this includes projects, professional goals, the status of my CPA license process. With my spiritual/life mentor, this includes personal goals, and areas of growth, as well as what's going on with me and the high schoolers I volunteer with.

What steps am I taking towards the things I'm working on? - For both of my mentors I think of measurable steps I'm taking towards achieving the various things I'm working towards. The key to answering this question is measurability. If you cannot measure your steps in someway, then you cannot track your progress. This either means you're not sure how to reach your goal, or your goals aren't specific enough. If it's the latter, make note of it as something to talk to your mentor about, she probably has an idea of how you can work towards the goal. It's important to write all your steps down so you don't forget when you go to meet with your mentor!

How can my mentor help? - Again, for both of my mentors I look at the goals I'm working towards, what steps I'm taking to reach the goals, and see what holes they can help fill in, or what progress reports I need to be giving so that I'm held accountable for my goals. Sometimes you just need your mentor to be a cheerleader in your corner, other times you might need her to facilitate your work towards your goal.

At the bare minimum, taking the time to answer these questions before meeting with your mentor communicates to your mentor that you value her time, take your relationship with her seriously, and want her input and advice in your life. Remember, your mentor volunteered to give up her time, and genuinely wants to invest in your life!

Friends Friday

In my little corner of the internet, I want us all to be friends. So let's take this chance to get to know each other a little bit better.

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What song do you currently have on repeat: Ellie Goulding "Love Me Like You Do"

What is one chore/errand you're putting off: You guys, I haven't gone to the dry cleaner in literally months. I just keep dryel-ing all my dry clean only clothes and hoping for the best. But it's time.

One thing you never leave home without: This planner. I cannot function without it.

One blog you check everyday: History in High Heels - I just found Ashley's blog on pinterst. She has the cutest apartment, and the coolest life! She's a PHD student, and just left for 7 months abroad in Florence, Italy.

Book you're currently reading: I just started reading Gone Girl, and I am hooked. While I'm pretty sure I'm the only person on the planet who hasn't read this book, if you're like me and haven't read it yet, go buy it and start reading, and then tweet me so we can chat about it!

Now you're turn! Copy the questions below into the comments and tell me about yourself! I can't wait to get to know each of you guys better.

What song do you currently have on repeat:

What is one chore/errand you're putting off:

One thing you never leave home without:

One blog you check everyday:

Book you're currently reading:



Spotlight On: Valerie

I am so excited to get to introduce y'all to Valerie this morning! I found Valerie's corner of the internet when She Reads Truth used her instagram posts as their backgrounds for one of their Open Your Bible study. And I am so glad I found her! Her blog and instagram are constantly full of truth and inspiration. She is so honest throughout her instagram posts - I can see just how much she doesn't want people to compare their full stories to her highlight reel. Her blog is full of posts about the realities of her life: that we cannot do anything apart from Jesus, that running your own business is hard sometimes, but also super rewarding, that financial freedom is something you have to work towards, and that this life we have is full of beautiful, precious, everyday moments.

Be sure to head over to Valerie's blog, instagram, and etsy shop and show her lots of love!

Name: Valerie Keinsley

Age: 24

What does a typical day in your life look like? I usually wake up around 7 and wrap up in a quilt to go make a pot of coffee—our house is 110 years old and soooo cold in the morning. I’m learning to love it though—cozy socks and quilts during my morning prayer time is becoming my new favorite thing. I sit in my little prayer corner and try and center myself for my day, reading Jesus Calling, praying through my prayer journal and listing things I’m grateful for. I make a big breakfast (I’m totally a breakfast girl!) and am in my office by 8am. 8-12 is reserved for The Archibald Project work, I take a break for lunch and try to read a book while eating and NOT be on my phone, and then work on my shop and other business stuff from 12:30-3:30 or 4. I might answer a few emails and then call it quits for the day! This has been a huge adjustment for me, actually ending my day and making time for margin and rest and hobbies, and I’m still learning how to do it. But it’s good!

I know you wear many hats (wife, shop owner, blogger, co-owner of Love By Design, creative director of the Archibald Project). Can you speak briefly about these hats, and the place each role you play holds in your life? How do you manage to keep your tank full with so many different roles going on at once? Yes! It can get a little chaotic so starting my day with prayer and coming back to that throughout my day is SO key, I’m learning. I’ve also started listening to either worship music (I am LOVING Elevation Worship lately) or instrumental music like 2Cellos during my workday to help me stay filled up and focused. But the bottom line is that I am incredibly blessed that all my roles—especially the work ones—are things I am so passionate about and deeply love to do, so even the work fills me up. I give thanks for that every day.

How did you end up going into stationary design? Was it something you always wanted to do? Haha, writing out this story would probably make this blog post WAY too long! Let’s just say that I took a VERY roundabout way to stationery design. I have always loved parties and celebrations though, and after designing my own wedding invites and all the paper goods for it over a year ago, I realized it was what I was truly passionate about. It’s taken me awhile to take the plunge and focus my business solely on stationery, but it truly sets my heart on fire and I feel like it’s absolutely where my greatest skills and deepest passion collide!

How do you stay organized? When you wear a lot of hats or do a lot of things, organization is so key. I use the Simplified Planner to keep my to-do list and appointments each day. I use Sunday as prep day and make sure the house is clean, laundry is done, groceries are stocked and we meal plan and meal prep. I also make a giant list of everything that needs to get done for each “area” of my life that week—so it’s out of my brain! And from that giant list I can do a few things each day to accomplish it all and it feels less overwhelming. I also plan my days in Google Calendar, so I block out the hours I need to be in my office and then try to break that down by what I need to be doing, i.e. 1-3 p.m.: write blog posts. It helps a lot, especially when those lunch or coffee date offers come up, and I can look at my calendar and see what I need to be doing instead of a big open blank space.

What inspires you? Being outside is probably my biggest inspiration. I see God so vividly and feel him so intimately in nature, in the sky especially, so if I’m in a funk I love getting outside. I also am super inspired by spaces and love to look at images of homes and streets and boutiques and draw a lot of inspiration from that. And travel. I feel so alive and creative when I travel, or right after a trip.

What is one book you have read that changed your perspective? I just finished “Bittersweet” by Shauna Niequist and it was a game-changer for me. I related so much with her, being a person who is always on the hunt for more, more, more, so her essays and wisdom on slowing down were really impactful for me.

What is the most rewarding part of your job? For The Archibald Project, knowing that I am having a real effect on the orphan crisis through my work, even the mundane tasks, and that God is writing a masterful story through our organization. For my stationery shop, helping people celebrate what matters and playing a small role in those celebrations is SO awesome.

And just to keep things real here, what’s the most challenging? Thinking I’m right all the time is super hard for me! Especially as a business owner who deals with people, and people with opinions on things that matter a great deal to them (ahem, brides!) it can be hard to hear feedback about designs and things that people want to change. My automatic internal response is “well I’m the designer, I’m right and you’re wrong” so it’s a constant challenge to not be so defensive and see it as a chance to grow and serve my clients really well!

What is one lesson you are grateful to have learned in 2014? Prayer changes things, and grace is real.

What was the highlight of 2014? My trip to Uganda that resulted in my job for The Archibald Project. It truly was the answer to years of prayer and I still can’t believe it’s real life!

What was one challenging thing that happened in 2014 that has definitely shaped you going forward? A full year of marriage and creating a home with my husband was so beautiful but also really hard! Realizing that my role as “wife” and the call to love and serve my husband is far more valuable than any job I will ever have.

I know you create a capsule wardrobe from your larger wardrobe, how challenging was the first capsule to create? Has it gotten easier? Do you have any advice for other women looking to declutter their lives? It was soooo hard the first time!! I was like but I PAID for this. What if I NEED this. Haha! It was so emotional and dramatic. But then I’d store the pieces I didn’t love for 6 months, never think about them, and realize that I truly didn’t need them in my closet. Every season it has gotten easier, and even now I’m thinking about things I’m still hanging onto that I don’t wear or need. Just be ruthless. Truly that’s my best advice. You get so much brain space back by getting rid of clutter in your space. If you don’t LOVE it, and I mean LOVE it, get rid of it. Aunt Mary will never notice that you donated the vase she got you. It doesn't matter that you spent money on that random knick-knack, the money is already gone. Let the guilt go and just get rid of it all. I am preaching this to myself, by the way.

What are you looking forward to in 2015? So many fun projects for our house, and growing my stationery shop by leaps and bounds. I have such big dreams for 2015 and am so excited about the potential this year holds!

What’s the best advice you’ve ever gotten? “Everything in life is either a lesson or a gift.” That’s from my super wise mama. She’s right.

What you would tell 15-year-old Valerie? Oh goodness. I’d tell her that she’s beautiful, and that she will realize it someday. To stop wondering how she’s going to do all the seemingly disconnected things she wants to do, because God is so much bigger and bolder and better than anything we can comprehend, and he will bring all those passions and hobbies and skills and dreams together into the most beautiful tapestry of life you’ve ever seen. That you can strive to be perfect, but grace is infinitely better. That you don’t have to earn God’s love. That you will grow into yourself and it will be hard and painful and you’ll feel so different from your peers for a long time, but one day you’ll wake up at 24 on a Tuesday and feel the most like yourself you’ve ever felt. And I’d tell her to maybe eat less Snickers bars, because cavities and root canals are expensive and painful ;)

What’s one Bible verse/passage you hold onto as a banner over your life? “He must increase, I must decrease.” John 3:30

*all photos were taken from Valerie's instagram

January Must Haves

I don't know what the weather is like where you are, but here it's officially cold. With winter being in full swing, here are the five things I definitely need to survive January!

St. Ives Moisturizer // The weather this time of year just sucks all the moisture out of my skin, which is not only super uncomfortable, but ends up making me look like I'm peeling from a sunburn in the middle of the winter. I lather this moisturizer on twice a day. Even doing that, this tub is giant and will last you for at least a year!

Cozy Slippers // Y'all, I drive to and from work in my slippers. I take Luna out in my slippers. I have even gone out to dinner in my slippers. Basically I live in my slippers. Which is way a hard-sole is a must for slippers in my household. These slippers from Target are reasonably priced and super comfy!

Barbour Beadnell // Tyler surprised me with this coat for Christmas! And it's just as perfect as I had dreamt it would be - lightweight, but super warm. Plus, the wax coat on the jacket makes it water resistant. It's a little casual for work sometimes, but I wear it any chance I get.

Lemon Zinger Tea // Get in your car. Go to the store. Buy this tea. You'll thank me later. I'll go ahead and warn you, incase your like me and don't fully read the box, the tea is red. It scared me to death the first time! It's red because of the hibiscus, which blends so well with the lemon. You might also want to pick up some honey while you're at the store!

Everyday I'm Hustlin' Mug // Sissy got me this mug for Christmas and I have been drinking my tea, hot chocolate, and coffee out of it ever since. When it gets cold outside, I have a hard time drinking cold beverages, so I'm always on the look out for cute mugs.

What items must you have to survive January?

The Truth About My Square Life: Hiking The Mountain

The Truth About My Square Life is a series attempting to stop pretending the highlight reels of our lives on Instagram are the whole picture. If you're anything like me, I bet you find yourself comparing your real life to other peoples' square lives, their highlight reels, as if it's the whole picture of their lives. And this comparison game is exhausting, and it's stealing our joy.

So let's stop that. 

Back in September, I took my high schoolers to camp. While at camp, we woke up to have a morning hike up the mountain and I posted this picture:

Hiked to the top of Sharptop yesterday morning with the greatest group of girls. 

What it looks like is going on: I'm outdoorsy and fit. I spend my weekends climbing mountains and watching the sunrise, all before you've even thought about getting up. Also, I volunteer with high schoolers, so obviously I'm better than you. Do you volunteer...at all? We spent a lot of time up here, just enjoying the view. Because I have time for things like camp and hikes and nice views. I have mastered the work/life balance conundrum. 

The truth about my square life: First of all, it was cold and dark, and one of my high schoolers was very concerned about bears. Bears had never even occurred to me until we were hiking, and then I had the terrible realization that I was the adult in the situation, and I had no idea what to do if we did actually see a bear. I was pretty sure I was leading my girls to a death trap and that bears were lurking around every corner. Also, it's a long, hard, steep hike up the mountain. And I have asthma, but I didn't want to be the reason we didn't make it to the top. So. Much. Wheezing. When we finally got to the top, we had all but missed the sunrise. One of our hammocks flipped over, spilling my sweet high schoolers all over the mountaintop, and one girl hit her head. Another moment of panic, because I'm the adult in the situation, and what if she's bleeding. I've watched a lot of Grey's Anatomy, but have almost no actual medical knowledge. (Don't worry, she was totally fine, just a little bump.) Then we lost track of time, and didn't start our hike down in time for breakfast. So we completely missed breakfast. Granola bars for the win! 

The view was incredible. And the hike was so worth it. But the square doesn't show you the full story.  Instagram is never the full story. Don't let comparison steal your joy. Don't be so hard on yourself, your real life was never meant to measure up to someone else's square life. 

I'm Not One For Resolutions...

I'm terrible at keeping resolutions. I always have the greatest of intentions, but by the end of January, I've failed at keeping whatever thing I've resolved to do differently. I'm tired of setting myself up to feel like a failure. So, enough is enough. No resolutions. Instead, I've picked a word to be a banner over my life for the next 365 days:

present // existing or occurring now

I want to spend the next year being engaged in the here and now. I want to put the phone down and pay attention to my loved ones. I want to stop focusing so much on things I should have done differently, or what the next stage of my life is going to look like. I want be exist in the now. I want to be present.