March Blogness // You Are Enough

Today, I am so excited to introduce you to my person (seriously, we've been watching Grey's Anatomy together since season two - we have a standing Thursday night text date), Amanda.

Amanda is a newlywed, a doggy-mom to Penny and Rocky, a total #GIRLBOSS in the Air Force, and a total inspiration to me. Amanda embodies shine theory, laughs with her whole body, and sets big goals for herself, but shows herself so much grace when that's what she needs. And, she's a seriously talented writer. Today, she's here to remind us that just because we can have it all, doesn't mean we have to have it all.

“We are a generation of young women who were told we could do anything and instead heard that we had to be everything.”
-Courtney E. Martin, Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters

Being a twenty-something is hard, and being a twenty-something woman in 2015 feels even harder some days.

Our mothers and grandmothers and great grandmothers fought to level the playing field. We can do anything and be anyone! But when did that mean we have to do everything and be everything for everyone?

We’ve been encouraged to go through every door that has been opened, seize every opportunity we’ve been given. Be leaders. Go forth and conquer. You are the future leaders of America!

But wait, as you’re rising to your full potential and becoming a role model for young women everywhere… all the while you can still be a mom, pursue your Master’s degree, maintain that bikini bod through daily yoga, cloth diaper your homemade-pureed-peas-fed baby, sew your man a t-shirt quilt before baking him a four-course dinner you saw on Pinterest, serve it up on a table you made from reclaimed pallets, and simultaneously kick up your trendy-boot-clad heels after work because your laundry is folded and the house is spotless.

Confession: my life looks nothing like this Supergirl standard. More like: Hi, I’m Amanda, and I’m a stressed, 24-year-old woman currently working full time in the military who feels like I’m not doing enough or accomplishing enough in my life.

I’ve certainly struggled with the pressure to meet the standard of the “effortlessly perfect” woman. But here’s the thing – it’s unreasonable, destructive, and impossible to expect this from ourselves and each other. 

My life is surrounded by competitive, vivacious, accomplished, clever, impressive, educated, gracious, beautiful women. Yet, we often get so caught up in playing a comparison game with each other that we fail to see these great qualities in ourselves. We’re stressing ourselves and each other out. And ladies, this stress is exhausting.  

Jenn’s blog has already done such a beautiful job of capturing the comparison game in her series The Truth About My Square Life. It’s a perfect lens for breaking down some of the “Instagram-worthy” moments on which we’re basing our Supergirl standard.

We need to take those square moments with a grain of salt when we reflect on our own life and accomplishments. We need to build each other up when confiding in one another, rather than re-enforcing the self-doubt that we’re not “where we need to be.” We need to remember that we do not have to be everything for everyone.

I charge you today to give yourself a break. Keep in mind that so much of what we see in each other’s life is that Pinterest-worthy highlight reel.

There is something to be said about the opening quote: you CAN do anything! I don’t know you, but I know you have all the strength and capability to achieve any goal you set for yourself. But please rest assured, we are all bumbling around trying to figure it out. Your journey is yours alone. If you try to be “enough” all the time, whether self-inflicted or based on the journey of those around you, you will never feel it. But trust me, you already are enough.